You may (or may not) have noticed, but it’s been a couple months since my last blog post. If you follow me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, I made a point to let you know that I wasn’t blogging regularly. However, I have neglected my subscribers. And for that, I’m very sorry.
The thing is, this blog just hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind lately. It hasn’t been a priority or something I’ve even felt like doing. And then, on top of that, I had a rogue plugin taking up all the space on my site, making it impossible to upload or post anything. So, I feel like I owe you an explanation. But more than that, I really want to share my new thought process regarding blogging, my blog schedule, work-life balance, and life in general.
Why I Took a Break from Blogging
Things have been pretty wild lately. Well, for me. For a long time, I was on medical leave from grad school, then finished up my degree remotely. This gave me time and flexibility to work on building my blog and finding my voice. Then, I was unemployed, with my only real responsibility being finding a job. So basically, I had a super flexible schedule that really allowed me to focus on the blog. About three months ago, I started my first full-time job in a long time. And my first job after grad school and getting my health back under control. This is why, initially, I decided to stop developing recipes each week. Recipe posts are the most time-involved and the least meaningful, so I let them go.
But over the last couple weeks, the novelty of this new job has started to wear off. Don’t get me wrong, I still love it. I love my company, my coworkers, and the work I’m doing. But now, my energy is pretty darn depleted at the end of each day, and on the weekends, I just don’t want to do a whole lot of thinking.
On my time off, I’m torn. Part of me wants to do absolutely everything I can’t do when I’m working. I want to ride my horse, blog, bake, go to the beach, hike, and literally everything else. It’s honestly overwhelming. And that’s why the other part of my wants to do absolutely nothing. I want to rest, recover, sleep, and just simply be.
The thing is, I’m having a really hard time finding that balance. And that’s made even more complicated by the limits set for me by my chronic illnesses. I’m afraid that if I do too much during my down time, I won’t be able to be my best at work. And I really want to be my best at work. So then, I end up doing the bare minimum, over-resting, and feeling defeated by the time I’m back at work because I haven’t done what I needed, or wanted, to do. It’s can be very frustrating. But it’s part of the reason I haven’t been blogging much lately. It’s not that blogging will send me into a flare or anything like that (at least, it shouldn’t), but it’s just that if I’m not busy with work or other responsibilities, I’m not doing much of anything.
On top of that, I’ve been having a hard time finding inspiration. I just don’t always feel like I have something to say, and if I’m not passionate about something, I’m not going to write about it. Unless I’m putting my all into a post, it’s not fair to you guys to publish it. I want to be proud of my content. I want it to resonate with you. And I want it to be worth your time.
My New Attitude Towards Blogging (and Other Things)
I’m the kind of person who puts a lot of pressure on myself. I live by “shoulds”, and it’s something I’m working on. Instead of the “shoulds”, I’m trying hard to focus on doing things that serve me, being better to those around me, and just living a more intentional life.
For much of the time before my blogging hiatus, I was blogging (and doing other things) because I felt like I should, like I had to. I had it in my head that I was letting everyone down if I didn’t get a new blog post out. Or I was a terrible horse owner for not riding every single day I’m able. Or I was a horrible friend for rescheduling on someone when I just really didn’t want to leave the house.
But here’s the thing: doing things because you feel like you “should” is doing things out of guilt. If you aren’t putting your heart into it, you don’t enjoy it, or it doesn’t serve you or your loved ones in any way, it’s not worth your time. Now I’m not saying I only blog or ride my horse or hang out with friends when I feel obligated. Because that is 100 percent not the case. Those are three of my favorite things. However, I am saying that I am no longer going to feel guilty for taking a step back, taking a day off, or rescheduling. The only real rules I’m living by are my own, and I’m tired of feeling guilty for doing what I need to, what I want to, do.
So from here on out, you’ll only be seeing blog posts I’m excited about, blog posts I wrote because I wanted to. And that’s something I’m incredibly proud of. I’m so excited to be back to blogging and I can’t wait to share more with you!