It has been way too long since I have posted anything on The Lazy and Beautiful. Life gets in the way and I felt like I lost my voice for a while. Between graduating with my Bachelors degrees to, rather unexpectedly, starting graduate school, I’ve been a little lost lately. I lost track of my personal goals in pursuit of my career goals. And while your career is important, loving yourself is essential, and I’m finally back on the right path.
With the stress of graduate school always looming over my head, I stopped caring about what I was eating, what I looked like, and, most importantly, how I was feeling. When classes ended in December, and my first of three semesters was over, I was able to step away from the madness that is graduate school and
figure out what needed to change. First and foremost, I needed to feel like my best self again. With that as my ultimate goal, the changes have been a lot easier. I’ve been focusing on eating healthy, real food (although sometimes a girl just needs some Pad Thai), exercising and riding my horse regularly, and practicing self-care. And for a while, I thought self-care meant always looking your best, looking like you feel good, and looking happy. But that’s not what it’s about. Those are just side effects of actually feeling good. In the process of finding that good feeling, I discovered face masks and candles, body scrubs and chocolates, soft sheets and sweet dreams. Most importantly, I discovered what makes me happy.
Even with this improved mental state, I still had some insecurities hiding in the shadows. Along with my academic and career problems were my physical insecurities. I’ve gained wait and stopped taking care of my skin. I was wearing makeup every day as I normally did, but not feeling beautiful as a result. And what is the point of makeup if to not feel beautiful? (Although I pray you all feel beautiful just the way you are.)
This week, however, I got very sick. A sinus infection knocked me on my butt on Sunday and now, on Friday, I am just starting to recover. During this illness, I have been completely exhausted, and didn’t care much about my appearance. And it turned out to be the best thing for me. It has now been six days since I have worn makeup, and I swear my skin has never looked better. I believe it is a combination between a great skin care regimen, eating better, and giving my face a break from being covered by goop and powder all day, every day.
Had I not been sick, I don’t think I would have ever discovered this. I have heavily relied on makeup to make me “pretty” for years. At first, even though I was too sick to really care, I was self-conscious about what my skin looked like, how I looked with blonde eyelashes, and if my eyebrows looked to thin. I was nervous about what people thought. But I went without makeup just the same. By the fourth day, I felt downright great without any cosmetics, just clean, natural skin. Now, I’ve fully embraced my bare face, realizing I’m not only beautiful without makeup, but I am me.
Now, I’m not saying I will never wear makeup again. I love it too much. However, I now realize it is not a necessity. I am no more or less of a person with a full face. I am me regardless of what’s on my face, and that is more than enough.